Tomorrow night, Laura and I are heading downtown to see Eric
Hutchinson play at Lincoln Hall. Although I am extremely excited for this show,
I am annoyed by a couple of things:
1.
It’s on a Monday night
2.
His new album just came out last week, giving me
only a few days to listen to it on repeat and learn the songs
Despite those two minor problems, I’m pretty psyched. I’ve
seen him a couple of times before, and he’s even better live than on his albums
(on his records? On his digital recordings? How are we saying this now?). He’s
a great musician, but also really funny and comfortable on stage, which makes
him fun to watch. Some musicians have fun, outgoing personalities, and
therefore can and should engage in banter in between songs. It’s fun, it gives
you a glimpse of their personality, and it’s entertaining. However, some
musicians just aren’t gifted in that way, but still try to be. We’ve all been
to shows where the lead singer tries to make little jokes or tell stories in
between songs, and they just… don’t work. It’s like, come on – God has gifted
you with great musical talent. Unfortunately, He did not also make you funny,
so just… stop trying. Oh, but they never do. They always have to tell an
unfunny story about the time the band was in another city and something funny
happened and ahhhhhh just play the next song already!
But Eric… Eric is funny and self-aware. That’s why we love
him.
So anyway, a couple of years ago, Laura and I went to his
show with another friend. It was in some strange restaurant/bar/club, and on the
way in, Eric was eating dinner outside on the patio. Like, right in front of
us. And I kind of freaked out. We were
like, OMG he’s eating here! Like, where else would he eat? He’s playing a show
there later that night and they serve food. But still, we got excited.
So, before the show started, we were all talking about how
much we love him – especially his covers. Often at shows, he’ll do a cover of Remix
to Ignition or How Will I Know or any number of Justin Timberlake hits. We’d
seen video proof on youTube, but had never seen him perform How Will I Know
live, and being huge Whitney Houston fans (or just huge fans of good covers,
maybe), we started scheming. How would we get Eric to sing that song? Would we
yell the song name out? We weren’t sure. Somehow, we came up with the brilliant
idea to wait around after the show and try to meet him. And then, we’d pool our
money and offer him a small cash bonus if he sang that song for us. (If, at
this point in the story, our goal and means of reaching it actually make sense
to you, then congratulations, you could be friends with us weirdos).
So, the whole show went by, and while it was great, there
was not one Whitney Houston cover. So afterward, he announced that he’d be
hanging out afterward to sign autographs and meet new best friends. So, we
waited in a long line and finally got to meet him. Did we want to buy an album,
or a t-shirt? Or take a picture or get an autograph? No, we wanted to offer
this man $40 in cold hard cash to sing another artist’s song for us. Looking
back, maybe, MAYBE this was a bit insulting, but at the time, we were so
blinded by our desire to hear him sing that song that we didn’t even consider
that. I mean, is that insulting? To think he’d get excited about $40? Personally,
I would not find it insulting, but I am not a famous musician, so maybe I’m not
the best judge of that?
Because he is so funny and down-to-earth on stage, I think
we expected him to just laugh and be like, “you girls are hilarious! Let’s be
friends and yes of COURSE I’ll sing that song for you right now.” But instead,
he just kind of stared at us and looked down at our now-shaking hands holding
out the sweaty wad of cash and seemed like he had no idea what to say to us.
And also, he seemed really high (unless you’re reading this Eric (likely), and
don’t do drugs and then sorry! I’m just kidding!). But for real, he looked high and like he
barely wanted to take pictures with his nervous, giggling, mostly lady fanbase –
and certainly didn’t give off vibes that he wanted to be treated like a hooker
for a few girls who wanted to hear him belt out Whitney’s greatest hits.
So there was a long, uncomfortable, awkward pause, where we
weren’t sure whether to just put our cash back in our purses and run away, or hold
out and see how much more uncomfortable we could make him.
Finally, he looked at a security guy next to him and
whimpered “help me” in a hushed voice (I made that part up) and started singing
(very softly and with very, very minimal enthusiasm), “How will I know, if he’s
thinking of me? I try to ehhh but I’m too shy ehhh hehhh, falling in love, da
da da da da…” and then just sort of trailed off. Literally didn’t even sing half the words; we’d
seen the youTube videos, Eric… we KNEW you knew the words!
And then he told us he didn’t want our money. And we said “thank
you” politely and walked away (slightly embarrassed that he told us to keep our
money, but also kind of glad we didn’t have to fork over $40), but not before a
security guy asked us if we wanted a picture. Would we like to capture this
awkward moment so we could remember it always? Sure, why not.
And that’s the story of how we met, scared, and ran away
from Eric Hutchinson. But we didn’t run away forever – we’ll be back tomorrow!
See you soon, Eric (and don’t you dare forget to sing some Whitney).
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