When TV Characters Die

(NOTE: I tried to be general about names and specifics, but this post contains minor spoilers for How I Met Your Mother, Friday Night Lights, and The Mary Tyler Moore Show, if you can call it that for a show that has been off the air for over 30 years).

Tonight I sat down on the couch with my freshly-prepared bowl of shrimp and zucchini barley risotto to watch my nightly episode (or two or three or four) of How I Met Your Mother, which I have been blazing through on Netflix, when something strange happened. At the end of what is usually a light and fun and relatively mindless 22 minutes, a major character found out his father has died, of a massive heart attack.

Since Netflix is basically the best thing ever, I immediately continued on into the next episode, which was the funeral. Now obviously I haven't watched five and a half seasons of HIMYM in the last two months because it's a crappy show, but I was so impressed by how sensitively and accurately they handled the sudden loss of a parent, from the perspectives of the child, the spouse, and the friends who feel helpless to offer anything but their physical presence.

Deaths happen all the time on TV--usually around February or May, when networks need to pull out the big guns to prove to advertisers people are actually watching their commercials--but more often than not it's a ploy to shock (RIP Tyler), or to conveniently dispose of an unpopular or troublesome character or actor (RIP Marissa).

But sometimes, when a show really wants to dig into the stuff of real life, or, as I presume was the case with HIMYM, it wants to give an actor some real meat to work with to keep him from abandoning ship for his burgeoning movie career, they can really get it right.

When TV characters die, I don't think many people grieve the loss of the character. They're fictional, after all, and have absolutely zero impact on our actual lives. A TV death becomes meaningful to us (or maybe just to me?) when it is able to tap into some emotion we have felt, or that we anticipate feeling, when it helps us understand better the ways death of people we have known and loved have shaped us, and the ways death has made us and can make us think about life.

It is in this spirit I offer you my list of my "favorite" TV death-isodes. I'm not saying these are objectively the "best," but they are the ones I have found most illuminating for understanding and processing grief in my own life:

How I Met Your Mother, "Bad News" and "Last Words"
See above? I enjoy reading about TV almost as much as I enjoy watching it, so as soon as these episodes were over I wiped the tears from my eyes and opened up my laptop to find recaps and analysis from when they originally aired. I was surprised to see that the first episode, "Bad News," was not well-received, because the "big reveal" was so unexpected and, in the minds of many, unearned. The whole episode is clearly building up to a reveal of some bad news, which the main plot would have you believe is connected to the fertility status of two main characters. But it didn't bother me that HIMYM used the fake-out; death often comes when we least expect it, and the juxtaposition of joy with shock and sadness is what made these episodes so great, and so true to life.

Friday Night Lights, "The Son"
You could say I have a problem with Netflix bingeing, but that would suggest that experiencing (not watching, experiencing) amazing shows like Friday Night Lights was a problem. And that is just not right. I could go on and on about how amazing FNL is, and I already have, multiple times, so I'll save that particular speech for now. But in a series full of standout episodes, this one is maybe the most stand-out-iest for its beautiful depiction of a teenage boy trying to make sense of and deal with an incredibly difficult, complex death. Saracen's eulogy for his father is one of the gutsiest speeches I've ever heard, from a writing perspective, and they pulled it off 1000%.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show, "Chuckles Bites the Dust"
Okay, I threw in one funny take on death. This season six episode was ranked #1 on TV Guide's "100 Greatest Episodes of All Time" (in 1997) and then #3 on their 2009 list (it got beat out by episodes of Seinfeld and The Sopranos) and if you've ever seen it there's no way you forget it. A TV clown is killed in a parade where, dressed like a peanut, an elephant tried to "shell" him. Mary attempts to give a eulogy but can't stop laughing--when the minister tells her it's okay to laugh because Chuckles would have wanted it that way, she breaks down in tears. Yes, it's very, very funny, but it uses that humor to illuminate the confusing expectations we have surrounding how we "should" think and act when confronted with death.

Am I the only one who feels this way? In what ways has a TV death most touched you?

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted!

Recently, Laura and I were talking about writing a post about songs that contain one line that really speaks to us. So I thought, OK – I have to put together a list of really deep, meaningful lyrics that speak to me on all these deep emotional levels.

And yeah, there are plenty of really deep musicians out there who are able to articulate a specific feeling in one perfect, poetic lyric… but there’s also the Go-Go’s, and let’s not forget about them. They sang the words:

Vacation, all I ever wanted

Vacation, had to get away

I love the sweet, simple poetry of these lyrics. Vacation! You’re all I ever wanted, and yes, I HAVE to get away! I do. Thank you, the Go-Go’s. You guys are the best. Is this song about something deeper? I doubt it, but if so, sorry, Go-Go’s!

So, my husband and I just got our tax return, and like the responsible adults we are, we’re blowing the whole thing on vacation. Well, not the WHOLE thing. (Dave Ramsey, if you’re reading this, I’m totally kidding. But also, if you’re reading this, then, go Cult of Clair!) We’ve actually allotted only a portion of the money to vacation, and the rest goes to grown-up boring things (booooooooo).

We both love travel, and are genuinely bummed that we can’t do it more often. So, we’re pretty excited about planning our upcoming trip. One of our goals is to visit every continent before we have children (and I’m pretty sure every time I verbalize this sentiment, I’m jinxing us). We went to Barcelona for our honeymoon (Europe, check!) and obviously reside in North America, so, we’ve got two down and five to go. Except, I guess we aren’t realistically going to go to Antarctica, so I suppose we’ll give ourselves some grace if we can’t swing that one.

Since we love travelling, but have limited funds and basically no preference where we go (as long as it’s out of the U.S.), we’re likely going to end up anywhere Travelzoo has a super cheap deal to. But since I love nothing more than planning vacations that may or may not happen, I want to share my a few places that are on my list. There is no way I could narrow down a list of every single place I want to go, so these are just some of my top picks:

1. The Seychelles (because, google it)

2. Santiago, Chile

3. Australia - All of it. The whole thing. Like, I want to fly in to Sydney, trek across the outback Lost-style, and fly out of Perth

4. Bhutan

5. Istanbul, Turkey

6. Stockholm, Sweden

7. Peru

And for good measure, a few travel planning sites I love:

http://www.wanderfly.com/ - You can tell it which part of the world you want to visit, your budget, and what types of things you want to do, and it'll tell you where to go.

http://wayfaremag.com/ - A lovely online travel magazine that's not just about where to go and what to do, but how traveling inspires us.

Getting Motivated

Someday, I'm going to write a solid post about motivation and passion and taking risks and doing what you love... but for today, somebody's already written a pretty good post about those things, so I'm just going to direct you there: http://thehairpin.com/2012/02/motivation

So good, so convicting, so true. If you ever find yourself upset that you aren't living the life you want to live (in any way), this is a must-read. The only thing I'm ehhhh on is "#2, ditch your friends," because I already have awesome friends who motivate me and there's nothing wrong with drinking beer or watching 80's movies in moderation. But, I'm sure she doesn't mean you should NEVER do those things, unless she does, in which case, I take back my endorsement of her article. I do appreciate her sentiment, though, that it's so important to evaluate how I'm really spending my time, and cutting things (not necessarily people) out of my life that don't help me be who I want to be. I consistently find myself getting so frustrated that I'm not making progress on any of my goals - but then I realize how much time I waste flipping channels or aimlessly surfing the internet or doing any number of other random things, so this was a really good, convicting read for me.

On a sidenote, if you are not an activer reader of The Hairpin, you should be. I can't say objectively whether it resonates with the larger public as well as it does with 20-something women, but you should read it anyway.

Nothing Good Gets Away

While catching up on my Google reader this morning, I came across this letter, written by John Steinbeck to his son Thom, who had written from boarding school to tell his father he was in love, and to ask his advice. Steinbeck, being the great writer and observer of human behavior that he was, replied:

New York 

November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First—if you are in love—that’s a good thing—that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second—There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply—of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it—and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

The Art of the Cover

Probably the only thing I like better than great songs is great COVERS of great songs. So today's post is a meditation on this subject. Bear with me, there are cool videos at the bottom.

We begin with the great song: "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye. When I first heard it on the radio, I was like, hey, that's a catchy little song with a nice bite! So I looked up the band and listened to their album on Spotify, then I listened to it again, and again, and...you get the idea. But then one day I had the volume on REALLY LOUD in my car when this song came on, and I found myself really listening to the lyrics. Have you ever been blown off, dumped, or treated poorly by a member of the opposite sex? If so, you can probably really dig into lines like:

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over 

But had me believing it was always something that I'd done 

But I don't wanna live that way 

Reading into every word you say

Kinda cathartic, right?

Now we move onto the great covers! Cover songs are an art form--the best covers often transcend the source material, locating and personalizing the universal truth that the original artist perhaps missed or buried under style or flash. If you don't believe me, check out this list as a starting point. (I think as a culture we can collectively agree that Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt is the best of all time, right? I will give Whitney a close second with "I Will Always Love You," but, come on, that video.)

So obviously Walk Off the Earth's five-people-playing-an-entire-song-on-one-instrument thing is what made this particular cover blow up, but the thing that keeps me hitting "repeat" on this one is the facial expressions! They just completely nailed the tone of the song and when I watch them I'm like, yeah, I AM so over you, (fill in the blank)! You ARE just somebody that I used to know!

If you've known me for more than five minutes, you probably know I love acapella music. There is no shame and element of guilty pleasure--I just think it's downright cool. Not only is it beautiful and generally performed by people with actual talent--the form requires musical interpretation that often wakes me up to a song I thought I knew. This past fall I got really into The Sing-Off, so when someone sent me this video of Pentatonix (winners of this past season, who I love even though I was totally rooting for The Dartmouth Aires, I mean come on) covering the song I was like !!!!!!! before I even opened the link.

No list of covers is complete without my very most favorites: the incredibly talented, enviably cool, infectiously joyful kids of the PS 22 Chorus!

And in case you haven't seen it, the original video, by Gotye and Kimbra, which is very cool and artsy and buzz-worthy in its own right:

Beat It

This video combines a few of my favorite things: the Summer Olympics, music, and the Ronson family. OK, that last one is a bit of a stretch, but who doesn't love I <3 Ronson, right?

Anyway, Mark Ronson - who is mostly famous (to me, at least) for his song "Valerie" with the late, great Amy Winehouse - spent some time with Olympic hopefuls and is making their "athlete noises" into music. Awesome!

"You know, you make music and create it in a vacuum, and then you realize that you're making it because people want to enjoy dancing to it."

What's Lent Got to Do With It?

Let me preface this by saying, I did not grow up in a liturgical church and I do not regularly attend one now. My thoughts on Lent are still forming and I don't feel in any way qualified to offer any kind of meaningful meditation on this 40-day season that prepares us for the celebration of Easter.

Growing up, I always thought Lent was a "Catholic" thing, as in, it's only for Catholics. I actually made a point to let people know that I was NOT observing it--after all, wasn't the whole thing a forced attempt to appear more spiritual, motivated by legalistic fears? Looking back, I realize I was actually kind of a jerk about all this--I have a distinct memory of waving french fries in the faces of friends who had given them up at my 8th grade lunch table (sorry Liz and Christine!)--though at the time I just thought I was being funny. (Tweens are the worst.)

But liturgy is kind of a big deal at Wheaton, so after a year or two of warming up to the idea and getting over this idea that "it's not essential to salvation so I don't have to do it, and therefore I won't," I realized that maybe just because I don't have to doesn't mean it wouldn't be a good thing, perhaps even a season built into the year by God for our benefit, and a few years I even tried giving up something. 

So rather than spend thousands of words trying to parse out why, or how, I have come to see the benefits of Lenten observance, or regale you with stories of my own failed attempts, I just want to point you to a few things I have heard or read in the past few days that might just encourage you, too!

"Songs for Lent," New York Hymns

This album is free so, um, why would you NOT download it?!? A group of New York-based singer/songwriters created these songs for Lent built on the stations of the cross. I listened to it this morning and want to try to listen to it at the start of each morning for these next 40 days. Music is such a good way to engage an idea--it becomes part of us and infiltrates the rhythms of our life--and, added bonus, it makes our days more beautiful!

"The Spiritual Disciplines You Didn't Choose," Fr. Kevin Miller

This is the sermon preached at the (really wonderful) service I attended last night (at Church of the Resurrection, since my church didn't have anything going on). So often we think about Lent in terms of introducing new disciplines into our lives, without addressing the areas in which we have already been called to discipline.

"Giving Up Self-Discipline for Lent," Mark Galli

A revolutionary idea! He says, "To me, participating in a Lenten discipline is my chance to do a little play acting. What would it be like to live as if the law were in fact sufficient? How about for 40 days I pretend that I really can improve myself in the sight of God? Let's see how that works for me." This article is a reminder to my 8th-grade self that Lent draws us into a deeper appreciation that Jesus is the one who fulfilled the law and conquered death, for us. He concludes:

So for me Easter doesn't become a day when I thank God that he has made me more disciplined, not like those non-liturgical folks who don't even observe Lent. Instead, it becomes an occasion to celebrate the fact that my self-respect does not hinge on my self-discipline, and that my very lack of discipline is the paradoxical sign of the gospel. Indeed, while we were gluttons and prayerless, while we didn't give a rip about the poor, Christ died for us. It's not for the spiritually fit and healthy that he came, but for the unfit and unhealthy. We may be faithless in areas small and large, but he remains faithful through and through.

Amen!

Art Is For Everyone!!

Instead of making New Year’s resolutions, this year I made a list of things I’d like to do in 2012. They are mostly experiences, and, this will come as no surprise to most of you, they mostly involve the experiencing of the arts.

On Saturday I got to check my first item of the list: go to the Museum of Contemporary Art. Somehow I have lived in Chicago (okay, okay, the Chicago AREA) for eight years and haven’t made it to the MCA. When Lauren and I were looking for something to fill the time between brunch and the Dr. Dog show, I checked out the MCA site and found out they had just opened a new exhibition: This Will Have Been: Art, Love, and Politics in the 1980s. Yes please!

So after a long El ride from Bryn Mawr to the Loop, we finally made it to the MCA with two hours to take in the show, which proved to be exactly the right amount of time.

I absolutely loved it and cannot recommend it enough...to anyone, even, and actually, especially, to people who feel intimidated/overwhelmed/confused/bored by art. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Art Institute and can appreciate all the “isms” of art, but contemporary art just speaks to me. It’s made by people who are trying to make sense of the same world as me. All art is contextual, so contemporary art will always be “mine” in a way that no other movement can be.

I had spent the last two hours in relative silence, looking and processing and questioning and synthesizing, but when I stepped back out onto the street I could not have felt more exhilarated. I may not have the sophisticated vocabulary required to discuss the influence of postmodernism on cubist painters, but I want to tell you today that just isn’t necessary for the appreciation of art!

So maybe you’re not able to go to the MCA to see this exhibit tomorrow, or maybe you don’t even live in Chicago (or the Chicago area). I know, sad day. But all is not lost! Here are a few of my favorite art documentaries that are all united by one idea: that art is for everyone!

My Favorite Art Documentaries
*All available on Netflix until supplies last!

Herb & Dorothy (2008)
“You don’t have to be a Rockefeller to collect art.”
Herb and Dorothy Vogel are an average couple. She was a schoolteacher. He was a postal clerk. And together they amassed perhaps the single most influential collections of modern art in the world. They changed the art world. And they just might change your life. (Or at least the way you view the art world!)

Bill Cunningham: New York (2010)
“We all get dressed for Bill.”
Long before there was The Sartorialist, there was Bill Cunningham. Every day for over 50 years, Bill has hopped on his bike and pedaled the streets of New York to photograph the most stylish people he sees on the street. Every week his work appears in “On the Street,” a page devoted to his work in the Sunday Styles section of the New York Times. His devotion to his art is truly incredible--I could go on for pages but don’t want to spoil any of the fun surprises that await you in this joyous film.

Exit through the Gift Shop (2010)
A Banksy film.
You may have noticed this is a film by Banksy, the infamous street artist whose style has been imitated to the point of near ubiquity. This means that it’s an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, cooked in a paradox. But that’s also what makes it so great! I don’t want to give away too much, because it’s best to just experience it, but this film is his attempt to question and deconstruct the art establishment.

Helvetica (2007)
What is more universal than a font? Every single word we read has not just a meaning, but a physical form that shapes our experience of the ideas it contains. This surprisingly entertaining documentary explores the ways that fonts come about, and the way they shape the way we experience the world.

The September Issue (2009)
Fashion is a religion. This is the Bible.
I am what you might call “into” fashion, and I was counting down the days for the theatrical release of this one. While it’s pretty cool to get an in-depth look at how the most influential fashion magazine in the world puts together the biggest issue in its history (this was filmed in the last season before the world of print publications everywhere imploded) and kind of fun to gape at the astronomical sums of money this requires, it surprised me that this film ended up being about the dynamics of powerful women working together.

Our Favorite TV Ladies

#9. Kirsten Cohen, "The O.C."

 
Lauren: OK, so, don’t judge me (you’re definitely going to judge me), but back in the early days of The View (I’m talking Debbie Matenoplous and Star Jones), I used to actually watch that show without wanting to stab myself in the eyes. Remember when that show was tolerable? It was, I think. And I remember one episode (probably during HOT TOPICS) when Meredith Viera was saying something about her home - I don’t know even know what the topic of conversation was - but I remember her distinctly saying that she had the kind of house where her friends, family, neighbors and kid’s friends could just come over, open the fridge and make themselves a bologna sandwich. And I still think about - years later (I know, I’m weird) - because I think that’s such a cool example of how a woman wants her home to be - a place where friends and family feel like they can come in and make themselves a sandwich. But not a bologna sandwich, because bologna is gross. But maybe a turkey sandwich.

And Kirsten is totally that wife and mom - who is prim and proper, but also lets this random kid off the street come live in her home when he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. And even though she’s kind of leery of him (you know, probably because he wears wife-beaters), she still has that loving maternal persuasion that won’t let him just be out on the streets alone, and ultimately wants to take care of him and give him a home. And is willing to be judged by her peers for it. And judge, they did. The O.C. is the judgiest place in America, according to this show and the Real Housewives.

Sure, she had a slight drinking problem (was it slight? maybe more than slight? I haven’t seen the show in a while...) but, her friend married her dad, so, gross. I’d be hitting the pinot, too.

Even though I don’t aspire to be just like her, I definitely aspire to have a home like hers someday. Maybe I don’t need a pool house, though.  (Anyone who watches Revenge - a fabulous ensemble of women I do NOT want to be like - knows that no good can come of having a pool house.)

#8. Sydney Bristow, “Alias”

 
Laura: Let me say, right off the bat, I have NO desire to be an international spy. None whatsoever. But that doesn’t stop me from acknowledging that Sydney Bristow is the embodiment of female power. She’s kicking ass and taking names, but she’s still sexy and feminine and hey, she’s confused about how to be a good daughter and friend and girlfriend, just like me! She’s powerful but vulnerable, because she loves deeply and that is always a risk. But she is able to put her emotions aside to get the job done, even when that job involves falling out of planes and taking out 20 bad guys with one hand tied behind her back, while wearing stiletto heels and a skintight rubber dress. If we can just forget the last two seasons of Alias ever happened, we can focus on just how awesome she was. Action star does not usually translate into complex, fully-formed character, but that is exactly what she was. 

#7. Joan Holloway, “Mad Men”

 
Laura: Lauren and I had a little debate over who would write about Peggy and who would write about Joan. We knew we wanted to cover both of the Mad Men women (obviously we’re not counting Betty here because, seriously, gross) and we both realized we see parts of ourselves in each woman. Just like the “are you a Jackie or a Marilyn” campaign fell flat, there is no point in asking whether a woman is a Joan or a Peggy because really we’re all a little of both.
Of course the first thing anyone notices about Joan is her breasts. People look at her and see sex. She could have done what many secretaries before her had done--sleep with and marry the boss, quit the job. She wants to have it all, and while one half of “it all” comes more naturally to her, she works twice as hard to have the other half, too. And she gets it. She finds a man on her own terms, and returns to her job by choice. She’s good at what she does, and she knows it.  

#6. Leslie Knope, "Parks & Recreation"

 
Lauren: Leslie Knope is the best. Well, I don’t know if I think Leslie’s the best or if I just think Amy Poehler is the best. Whatever. Amy as Leslie is the best.

The great thing about Leslie is how intense she is about everything. I don’t want to turn this post into a complaint about how few women get to play truly awesome, well-rounded women on TV, but, well, it’s kind of true. A lot of women on TV are extreme characters: they either have awesome careers but are socially awkward and have terribly jacked-up personal lives (hello, Deborah Morgan), or they are have great families/relationships/friendships, but are discontent in so many other areas of their lives - including professionally. It’s like, sure, you can have an awesome job, but you’ll also be almost murdered by your serial killer fiance and later, you’ll fall in love with your brother. (Sorry for the Dexter spoilers, but I figure if you’re reading a list about TV, you’re either caught up on this show or you’re never going to watch it).

But anyway - back to Leslie. Her personality is comically oversized, but at the same time, the writers have managed to make her seem so real and down to earth. Even though she’s way overcommitted to her job and can seem almost cartoonish in the way she interacts with coworkers and makes them do crazy tasks, she’s also totally real: she has a great, honest friendship with Ann, and a relationship with Ben that brings out deeper layers, and reveals her needs and emotions. And yes, those needs definitely center around her obsession with her career - but they also are complicated by how much she likes him, and wants to have a full life outside of her work.  She struggles with having a great career or having a great relationship, but the key is - she struggles. She doesn’t have to choose one or the other. Which is awesome, because there are enough nut-job female characters out there who either are totally screwed up emotionally, or totally screwed up professionally, and it’s nice to have an example of someone who wants the best of both, and works hard to have both.
And, she’s hilarious.

#5. Peggy Olson, "Mad Men"

 
Lauren: One of the great things about Mad Men is that, despite the depravity of some of the characters, the writers still manage to make the characters real. Well, except for Betty, but that’s probably more January Jones’ fault than anyone else’s. She’s a boring human and it comes across in her “acting.” Sorry - this post is supposed to be about inspiring women. So, she inspires me to... spend more time on my hair. Thank you, January. Your hair is pretty!

Back to Peggy. The thing I love about her is how bold and tenacious she is. She really believes she deserves to be a player in the boys’ club - and she totally does. We’re talking about women who inspire us - and whom we aspire to be like, in some way - and Peggy makes me aspire to be more confident and to pursue what I know I’m good at. She’s a smart, creative writer, and even when she’s new to her job, she isn’t afraid to have bold ideas, and stand by them. She’s a feminist - but a nuanced one, not a “grrrr I hate men!” one like so many one-dimensional feminist portrayals on TV. She is very aware of how valuable she is as an employee, but continues to keep working hard, despite the straight-up sexual harassment she deals with every single day. (I mean, seriously. Was HR even a thing in the 60s?) 

Like Leslie Knope, she sometimes seems on the brink of relaxing her professional goals in order to have an easier, simpler personal life, but never gives in. She doesn’t always make the right choices, but she doesn’t let her failures define her life. Watching Peggy’s long struggles with her personal and professional lives has been tedious - but rewarding. Maybe it just seems like it has literally been like, 5 years since the last season. But, Peggy will be back in action in March, and I can’t wait to see what’s next for her.

#4. Tammi Taylor, “Friday Night Lights”

 
Laura: If you’re reading this and you haven’t watched all five seasons of Friday Night Lights--right now you need to open up another tab, add the show to your Netflix queue, and then CLOSE THIS TAB AND GO WATCH IT. NOW. ALL OF IT. I AM NOT JOKING.

Okay, now that you’re back...first of all, you’re welcome. Clear eyes, full hearts...I know, I’m breaking out my tissues now, too. I know, Riggins is so hot, and I too totally want to curl up on a couch and watch a movie with Saracen, and I completely agree that Coach Taylor is basically the perfect man and husband. But OMG SERIOUSLY TAMMI. Really the first thing everyone says about this show, after “it’s not really about football,” (so I guess the second thing) is always something along the lines of “it’s the best depiction of marriage on TV.” I don’t want to give anything away in the slim chance that not all of you actually finished the series before reading the rest of this post, but I will say that Tammi’s ability to fully support her husband in his demanding job and embrace her role as the coach’s wife while still holding her own and making her wants and needs clearly heard without veering into the stereotype of the submissive or nagging wife is aspirational. 

The first time I watched the show, I was seriously distracted by Tammi’s gorgeousness. Not joking--I found myself obsessively Googling what kind of lip gloss she wore. Her skin seriously glows, and ohhhh my goodness that hair. I wanted to take a picture of her hair to my hairdresser to show her what I wanted, but I realized it was futile--her hair is beyond the grasp of mere mortals. I am recognizing that bouncy hair is a common thread between these women, but seriously, isn’t that kind of the point--like the other bouncy-haired women on this list, Tammi’s coif underlies her confidence. She knows who and what she is, and what she is, is awesome. 

#3. Lindsay Weir, "Freaks & Geeks"

 
Lauren: If you don’t watch Freaks & Geeks, shame on you and you’re not allowed to keep reading. Seriously, just go watch it. There’s only one season - it won’t take you long to watch.
Like Leslie, I think the reason I like Lindsay so much is because she’s so real. And she struggles like a real high school student (let’s just ignore the fact that Linda Cardellini was like, 30 when she was shooting this show...). 

There are a few different stereotypical suburban high school girl characters: the dumb bimbo who hates studying and loves boys (please reference: every family sitcom with a laugh track), the nerdy smart girl with no social skills (please reference: every family sitcom with a laugh track), or the bitter, bratty woe-is-me girl (who’s usually only slightly more nuanced than the two previously mentioned character types). Look, I was a middle-class white high schooler, too, and I appreciate having a character on TV - at the start of my high school years, especially - who was an actual, real American teenager. I appreciate it even more, now that I’m an adult.

Lindsay dealt with the standard TV-high-school-girl issues: crushes, homework, teachers, and parents - but dealt with them in a way that showed how smart, funny, emotional, fragile, and resilient teenage girls can be. Because teenage girls are among the most complex and emotional people in the world (I think that’s safe to say), and we do them a disservice by relegating them to boring, stereotypical roles. I love Lindsay, because she’s vulnerable enough to be hurt by a simple misunderstanding with the guy she likes, but strong and bold enough to stand up for what she believes - even if nobody else agrees with her or people make fun of her. At 25, I still re-watch this show and am inspired by how awesome she is. 

#2. Mary Richards, “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”

 
Laura: The summer after college is a weird time for everyone, right? Because my very first week of full-time employment, each night I came straight home to the basement bedroom I was renting in a professor’s house, made myself a giant taco, and watched approximately 5 episodes of The Mary Tyler Moore show on Hulu before passing out at 8:30 pm. This was a nostalgic gesture. When I was a kid watching Mary Richards on Nick at Nite, I just assumed that’s what my life would be like when I went out into the world and tried to make it on my own. But somewhere between tacos I realized how very, very far I was from turning the world on with my smile, Mary Richards-style. 

Watching the show again as an adult--a single woman who, much like Mary, was breaking out on my own for the first time in a male-dominated field--I realized how I had misunderstood the show from the vantage point of my childhood living room. Mary is not the Everywoman I always thought she was. She’s special, and that’s the point. I mean duh, she has bouncy hair and killer legs. And with her wardrobe full of 70s knitwear, I mean how could she go wrong. But what is so great about her is that she is leading a completely charmed life, and she doesn’t realize it. She doesn’t expect it, and she certainly doesn’t demand it. In any other person this might be maddening--this can be known as The Bubble syndrome--but Mary is never anyone but herself, and herself just happens to be an exceptionally awesome woman. Every man she meets asks her out, and every woman she knows wants to be her best friend. 

She is not perfect--she constantly struggles to stick up for herself--but she has that extra something that makes her special--her boss Lou Grant calls it “spunk.” Entertainment Weekly recently pointed out how many awesome TV women (many of them on our list) can trace their lineage back to the one and only, the original, Mary Richards. And thanks to Hulu and DVDs (I might just own the first three seasons) her timeless smile continues to remind us that we really might just make it after all. 

And our favorite TV woman of all time is... Clair Huxtable, "The Cosby Show"

 
Lauren: Oh my gosh, I’ve always wanted to be Clair. The husband, the law degree, the career, the kids, the personality. She was just awesome. And now that I’m an adult, I’m like, DANG. How did she do all of that and stay so cool? (Oh? It’s a TV show? Right.) After one semester of Business Law in college, I’ve completely scratched the “lawyer” part of the dream, but the rest of it, I still aspire to.
But seriously, this is a woman who did it all - but who also seemed so normal. Sure, she had a fantastic career and great education, but you could tell her most important priorities were being a loving, encouraging (yet challenging) wife and mother. But, the awesome thing was that her husband (Go, Cliff!) was totally supportive of her passions and goals. So, it was just this big circle of support and encouragement and love. On a sitcom! Good job, writers.

Anyway! As you may have noticed by now, I think TV is sorely lacking in awesome, inspirational female characters in 2012. In some ways, we’re progressing, but in some ways, the greatest, smartest, funniest, loving-est, most complex leading TV ladies have been around for a long time - Mary, Lucy, Clair.

Laura: We named this blog after her, so obviously I think she’s a pretty stellar lady. But seriously, Clair has got it all: the successful career, the loving husband, the tasteful, cozy home in NYC, the children who get into scrapes but are basically really good, motivated kids, and even a killer wardrobe of skirt suits. I’m not a parent yet, but I imagine that someday one of my kids will do something like come home late from a track meet without calling first and I will ask myself “What did Clair do” and before I know it I’ll be presiding over a mock court in my living room to get to the bottom of it. And then after the kids go to bed I’ll slow dance to a jazz song with my hilarious doctor husband. Because that’s how I DO. Because that’s how Clair did.